Halloween Fun
by Dreamer1985
Summary: somehow this story got deleted and I am not sure how. Elaina plays a prank on Nick; Nick is saved from more teasing due to Tauna's interference.


Somehow this got deleted, and I have no idea why.

BIG VALLEY  
>FAN FICTION<p>

Early Halloween Fun2

(this got deleted by mistake, sorry)

I do not own the characters of the show The Big Valley

Dreamer1985

(this clearly shows I've been working on my own serious project far too long, and since it's October, hehehe , the perfect month)

It all started this morning as I was sitting at my computer desk minding my own business when Miss Lalala -actually, her name was Jennifer; but don't worry about her feeling bad over the name calling; that gal has so much air between her ears she'd not have gotten the joke; or insult -anyhow, she came rushing into the room screaming like some crazed-maniac.

"Elaina, Ya gotta come upstairs ya gotta." She began pulling at my arms and ignored my English corrections to her sentence. That airhead started saying stuff like Jarrod, Nick Barkley, and on and on.

"Okay, so why pull me into, go get Tauna she's the Barkley nut." I try to protest as I'm convinced the gal's main goal in life is to rip my arm off. Her response I can't repeat for it's so mumbled I think Miss Lalala needs her medicine switched.

"The attic? You're taking me to the attic?" This can not be good. Again with the Barkley bit, but this time she begins talking -in a glazed tone- something about vampires.

"Jennifer, when was your last dosage?" My question didn't even phase the gal as her hand pushed the attic door wide open and I about die as I am indeed looking straight at one very confused family - namely: The Barkleys.

"Look, I…. The sentence couldn't be finished as Jennifer pulled me to the computer and pointed to something that even made me jump.

Numbers and words I'm not even going to bother trying to explain got me in the chair in a flash and I began pounding away.

"What's going on here?" Nick bellowed; I ignored him and kept pounding away and was relieved when a blue flash flared up outside the windows and then red bars; Nick's rantings hadn't quit and started to get quite colorful only he quit in mid-air as a one very loud _Thud_ and then _'Owwww'_ sounded in the air: it was all I could do not to bust a gut.

"That's what you get for being late!" I shout to Jack; that vampire wasn't even on time for his own death. I grab a nearby bar of soap -which I happened to have left near the computer , oh, about …six months ago? Then I jumped up and shoved it into Nick's mouth -who'd began cursing up a storm; for the record Victoria shot me a grin; as did his sister, Audra. His brothers? - they covered their mouths. "Use that language in this house again and I'll shove it down your throat." I then turn to back Jennifer.

"Okay, Miss Lalala what did you do to the computer to get them here; you do know I'm working on my own project don't you?" I put my hands on my hip and demanded she answer when she tried muttering unintelligently.

"I believe she asked you a question." Nick snarled loudly. The rest of his family wanted the same information -they were just more patient about it than this one with a short fuse.

"I was just playing a game." Jennifer slunk over to computer in a way I am convinced she is Gollum's twin.

"And that game would be?" I walked over behind her and blew my own fuse. "That's no game!" I think my volume matched the one Tauna called Nick - if not louder, That's my portal program, and it still has glitches!" My fuse stayed lit and I raked her over the coals. "I swear you have the wrong hair color, why don't you and Audra switch!" Praise be, Audra had never heard all the blonde jokes. I sat down , turned to Nick and growled myself , "Show her to door before I'm tempted to grab your gun." - Nick didn't have to budge -the threat alone got Jennifer the out the door and down the stairs.

"Would you please tell me where we are?" Victoria Barkley sat straight looking every inch the lady; my smart mouth would have replied "Earth?", but I just knew she had to have a yardstick hidden somewhere under that skirt of hers -or behind her back- for Tauna had warned me this was one lady you watched your tongue with.

"The twenty-first century thanks to Miss Bim….Brighton." Praise be the woman only thought I'd started to say the wrong last name instead of calling Jennifer a bimbo.

"Can you get us back?" The one with Blonde hair - who's name I believe was Heath asked not sure what to think of the computer I sat at, nor of the big gun …actually, it was a stupid looking over-sized ray gun my uncle had been messing with before I'd ordered him away from the attic.

"I think so." I bit back a mischievous grin as I wanted _so_ badly to keep Nick around until Halloween night. "Just have to do it one at a time is all.." My mouth was hurting too bad to keep shut much longer so I -conveniently- told Mrs. Barkley I'd send the women back first. _Okay, okay, so I wanted the crop and the yardstick out of my attic; sue me._

My fingers flashed and _snap_ Victoria and then Audra were back where they belonged.

"What about us?" The one wearing an expensive jacket -had to be Jarrod- asked as he stood up and twisted his hat -his mother and sister disappearing before his eyes made the poor guy more than a little antsy. I don't think the one called Gene was real impressed either.

"Like I said, Mister… one at a time." Fortunately, for me the computer was friendly and let me send the ones called Jarrod and Gene home without fuss or fanfare. Unfortunately, it began making funny sounds and I bit my own tongue as that bar of soap I'd used on Nick was within his reach -I just knew that man would use it back on me if I let those words slip.

"What's wrong now?" Nick started to bark only to get a glare shot his way - bye me. To his good fortune Heath was still around to keep him somewhat stable.

"Computer acting up, and -no- it's not one of those user errors." I stood up. "Look I can't do any thing until the tech shows up." I point my finger straight at Nick -who is threatening to speak before he thinks. "Watch it, or I'll let that vampire in." I look at Jack who's begging to be able to play with Nick's mind.

"You wouldn't." Nick did his own share of glaring.

"Want to test me?" I lift eyebrows and put on a crazy smile.

"Nick, hold your tongue." Heath bites back a grin as he clearly reads my eyes - which shouted _Oh, please, slip Nick…._ _I could have so much fun._

"Okay, okay, but what do we do until then?" Nick asks sourly.

_Play with a vampire _I want so badly to say, but instead I just say "eat, Tauna can't get mad at me for that." and lead them out the door.

"No, it's not magic." I roll my eyes at Nick and Heath. "It's called a light switch. And, that…" I was referring to the radio, "….Does not have anyone trapped inside of it in spite of what you think." I can't help but roll my eyes. "Don't worry someday you, or your children, will hear about a guy named Thomas Edison, he's the one that got the thing to working in a reliable manner." They look at me as if I'm crazy.

The light bulb was bad enough, but one would have thought they'd lost their own minds -or had lit themselves on fire for those two stopped, dropped and rolled like experts when a gun went off on the TV. Praise be, the remote was right by my hand and I hit the off button in a flash - _Big Valley, just what I need… NOT._ I stick the remote in my jacket and tell the Barkley men it's just a television show and we don't need to watch it.

"Your choice macaroni and cheese; in my opinion that is equal to yellow death, or do you want me just to fix a Bacon, tomato, and lettuce sandwich." I'm not surprised they picked the sandwiches. It's when Nick starts to gripe over the 'talking box' I lose any patience with the man's well-known short fuse.

"Look, Buddy, put a sock in it. The only reason I didn't let Jack in was because Tauna would have my ever-loving hide!"

"Who's Tauna? This is the second time you've mentioned her." Heath asked as he took a bite of his sandwich.

"Someone who is very protective of Nick that's who." I mutter to myself _Tech better hurry or I'm going to bag being careful._ Tauna must have heard me because she came barging into the kitchen chewing me out for having Nick and Heath in our century. "Excuse me, not my fault Miss Airhead of the Universe messed with my computer." I growl and hop onto the counter. "Besides, I didn't go on their ranch, nor have I let Jack at them. Though if that one…" I point to Nick, "…keeps it up I'll let the old bat at him."

"Don't you dare!" Tauna hissed at me and I cross my legs, arms and give her 'if-you're-lucky-look. I think she wants to help get the men away from me, but -lucky for me- she can't run my portal program. "Fine, I'm leaving, but they'd better get back in one piece." I think the men are uncertain what to think but they keep their mouth shut simply based on the fact their high I.q. tells them she's the only thing standing between them and my idea of fun. Tauna leaves us alone, but I hear her raking Jennifer over the coals _Poor lass - talking about Jennifer- I almost feel sorry for her _out loud I go to speak when the doorbell buzzes -it's the tech.

Praise be I know the man -thankfully- Bryant does not watch Big Valley, so I don't get bombarded with a bunch of questions. No, we simply lead Bryant upstairs to the computer. He pulls out instruments the men know nothing about, nor are they dumb enough to ask as my eyes are warning them to keep quiet.

"Not much I can do here." Bryant stood back up from the chair he'd borrowed to look at the computer.

"In other words, my computer has had a major malfunction." I speak dryly.

"I'm surprised you don't have the blue screen of death staring back at you." Bryant then tells me it's a good thing he knows me so well and surprises me by handing me his personal laptop, "Something tells me you'll need this just…" He puts back on his black jacket, "…don't tell me why." He then makes me promise to return his private property before heading out.

"Okay, now.." I pop in my portal program. "…here you go." I push a button and Heath disappears. Nick sees the twitch in my eye and tenses up.

"What's going on? Why aren't you pushing another button." I think someone needs to push Nick's jugular vein back down into place.

"Oh, I will." I can't stop the corner of my mouth from turning upward, and I push a button -only he's not sent home. No, the man finds himself pushed back up against the wall with his arms spread out when he starts to bellow his eyes go wide as his mouth is instantly gagged.

"I only promised Tauna I'd not go on the Barkley ranch and to get you home in one piece." I then hiss into his ear. "It's October, and I didn't promise what I'd do in between staying off the ranch and getting you back in one piece."

The poor man, I really should feel sorry for him, but I've decided this is just too good of an opportunity to pass up and I pour a glass - which to him appears to be a greenish color; with a tint of blue and yellow. Walking over to him I rip out the cloth from his mouth and plug his nose, pour the drink in, and force his mouth closed -He has no choice but to drink and swallow. _Okay, so the stuff is colored; bad-tasting water, but , he doesn't need to know that._

"What the…" He shakes his head as I tell him what he has drank will relax him and help him not to fight what is about to happen. _Inside I'm busting a gut laughing so hard at the wild-eyed look that jumps on his face. _Crud, footsteps racing up from downstairs. I do my own mad dash and lock the door to the attic -not to mention sliding down a very heavy beam into place.

"Elaina! Let me in there. Something's up I just know it!" Tauna hollers from the other side of the door.

"Ya, my age!" I shout back and lean back in the chair ignoring her knowing I'll have to appease her later. "Now for you." I open the laptop and Nick tries to jerk away from the wall when two vampires jump through the window.

"Glad you were available Alice and Jasper." _Good thing Nick doesn't know the difference between golden brown eyed vamps and red eyed ones or I'd never be able to pull this off._

"Glad to help, just…" Alice whispers into my ear. "Don't tell Dad, okay? He'd be furious."

"I won't." The two then began to gingerly touch Nick's neck and I set the laptop aside-turning my back to him as I do so.

"Elaina, wh…oo , are these people" Nick stiffens when Alice begins to whisper about which vein would be best to use.

I ignore his question and address Alice, "I don't care which you use, just remember I get the main one." I turn around and grin baring two very sharp fangs. _Okay, so their plastic and fake, does he need to know that?_

Nick's color practically drains from his face, but I remind him he's been given something that will help hold him up. When Jasper eyes me funny I pull him aside and tell him what I gave him. The poor vegetarian vampire has to cover his mouth and keep his back turned to Nick to keep from busting a gut himself. When we face Nick he is managing to breath without hyperventilating. _Have to give Tauna credit for picking them strong._

"I can't seem to find a vein I want to use. And we really can't afford to change him. I mean Dad would have a fit." Alice keeps poking at him, "But I am kind of hungry."

"Try this spot." My hand whips around his back and it's Alice's turn to about bust a gut as she see I've slapped on a water filled container that has the feel of flesh to it.

"Oh, I like your style." Alice chuckles and asks if I could find a spot for Jasper to use.

"Elaina…"Nick gasps when I find a spot for her brother.

"Don't worry, we won't drain you, and we won't change you." Poor Nick may have been holding up but he still let out a scream when Alice and Jasper 'bit' into him. I take my time and 'bite' into his neck while keeping my hands on his chest - which didn't help his state of mind anyway.

"Elaina!" Tauna hollered from the other side of the door. "What ever you are doing, cut it out!"

"Party pooper." I pretend to grumble and my two vampire friends finish their end of the act and leave - suppressing giggles as they did so.

"Saved by the Barkley nut, happy?" I brush my fangs against his cheek and whisper into his ear. "For her sake I'll let you go, but…" I begin to grin even wider. "On one condition."

"What's that?" Nick doesn't bellow- but there is a bite to his voice. I whisper even lower in his ear and I feel him gulp.

"Deal?" I step back and wait for his answer.

"Deal." I think he only makes it because of the strange tool I hold in my hands.

I begin to type away and Nick finds himself able to move and jerks when he feels three spots on his body feel as if they've been ripped off _Hey, I can't let him find those patches I stuck on him now can I?_

"Bye…for now?" I raise an eyebrow.

"For now." He growls back. I then hit a button and Nick is gone. Pulling out my fake teeth I toss them into a nearby drawer- locking them up as I do so. _Not about to let Tauna find those things._

"I'm coming , I'm coming." I speak loud enough for Tauna to hear - she is still pounding on the door.

"What do you want?" I pretend ignorance and annoyance.

"What were you doing and where's Nick?" Tauna demands to know with her foot setting down so hard I think it may go through the floor just like Rumplestilskin's.

"Back on the ranch, in one piece…. As promised. " Pretending innocence I remind her she should be happy. "You got what you wanted."

"And you?" She lifted an eyebrow at me knowing me well enough to know I'm so not innocent.

"I got what I wanted." I then sit down and watch a Big Valley episode never seen on tv; one where Nick has managed to hold back his temper due to the fact he knows what is coming later. My look is not missed by Tauna who - I think- will be watching me; and any computer errors, a little closer than in the past.


End file.
